After a wedding ceremony in New York a few years ago, the FATHER of the BRIDE took the GROOM aside to give him some advice on how to keep the MARRIAGE long and HAPPY.
FATHER: You probably love my daughter a lot..
GROOM: Oh, Yes!
FATHER: And you probably think she is the most wonderful person in the world…
GROOM: Yes, she is so perfect in every way.
FATHER: That’s how it is when you get married… But after a few years… You will begin to see flaws in my daughter… And when you do begin to notice her faults, I want you to remember this: If she didn’t have those faults to begin with, she would have married someone much better. Thank you.
The moral of the story is… we should CELEBRATE and be HAPPY for the FAULTS and FLAWS of our partners, because if they didn’t have those flaws, they would be with someone much better… than us.
Every day, we recharge our phones, but we forget TO RECHARGE OURSELVES. Let’s just say we slept well the night before, which means we start our day with 100% charge. When we wake up in the morning, we roll over and 80% of us check our smartphones before we brush our teeth. We scroll through social media, we browse through emails, that takes away 10% of our energy.
Let’s say we now have 90% charge left. We then commute to work, we spend our day in the office, in meetings, interacting with colleagues, finishing off projects and assignments. We now have 40% charge left.
On the way home, we commute through traffic, or on the train, and that takes away another let’s say, 10%. We now have 30% charge left.
We come home and switch on Netflix, talk to someone about what our day was like and sometimes we lose another 10%. We now have 20% charge left.
At 20% on our phones, usually the charge bar goes red. We get an alert. We get a message that tells us that we only have 20% battery left. The question is, do we notice when our charge is at 20% or 10%? There are always signs from our bodies, our brains, our minds. But are we tuned in?
One of the best things we can do to recharge is to exercise. The hardest part of any workout is actually the 15 minutes leading up to it. We come up with 15 reasons why we don’t want to sweat and we change our mind 15 different times.
CNN reports that when you work out, your brain creates more serotonin which sends messages to our nervous system of happiness and well-being. Working out for thirty to forty minutes every day can recharge our battery by twenty percent.
Meditation is an incredible way to recharge our batteries. Exactly what the gym does for the body, meditation can do for the mind. Meditation gives us down time, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Medication also directly impacts your entire nervous system by reducing your body’s productions of stress-related chemicals such as cortisol. Meditation is a great way to recharge and can take you back up twenty percent.
We’ve all heard about incredible morning routines but the one thing that can make a huge difference to a recharge is your evening routine.
35% of us are not getting the recommended 7 hours of sleep per night. Remember, every body and mind is different, make sure you find the amount of time you need to get that serious battery recharge. And the 75-year study by Harvard found that beyond anything, the real sense checks for happiness and meaning in life was relationships, connections, interactions with depth that are fulfilling and full of joy.
Making time for deep, meaningful interactions every day can give the recharge our battery seriously needs.
What if we recharged ourselves as much as we recharge our phones? Because if we don’t, we’ll end up like one of our phones in the bottom of some drawer in our home.
Seriously, it’s the most misused phrase on Earth. It’s a nice thing to say to someone, but tell me: Do you mean it? A lot of people say it cause it’s convenient, but tell me, do you really mean it?
A reporter asked an elderly couple, “How did you manage to stay together for 65 years?” The woman’s reply blew me away. She said, “We were born in a time when if something was broken, we would fix it. Not just throw it away.” Hearing her words made me pause for a second. No, no, more than just a second because it made me realize that what most people call love today, isn’t love at all. It’s possession. And not to be a cynic but I feel most people in our generation just don’t know the difference.
So, if you’re confused then stop saying, “I love you.” Don’t even fix your lips to make the sound. You want to know the difference between love and possession? Well stay tuned as I break it down.
Contrary to popular belief, true love is not blind. It has 20/20 vision. And a loving relationship is not 50/50 either. It is 100/100. A total commitment. It’s not a trade or a balancing act. It is all chips on the table, your whole heart, and that’s that.
Do not fall into the trappings. Love says, “I want you to be happy.” Possession says, “I want you to make me happy.” Cause Possession is actually the opposite of Love; it’s other name is addiction. Love has an alias too. It goes by understanding and commitment.
See, while Possession says, “me.”; Love says, “we.” Possession is a cage; Love is the sea. Possession wants to control; Love wants to free. Possession wants to become; Love wants to be. Possession keeps receipts to remember its good deeds.
Love does not keep score but remembers we are on the same team. Possession hardens the heart; Love softens it. Possession picks a flower out of the ground, but Love waters it. Possession wants to hide; Love is vulnerable and exposed. Possession sees the body; Love sees the soul.
Love trusts the process. Possession controls the direction. Possession wants to win the argument. Love desires to win connection. Possession is filled with darkness; Love, with sunlight. Possession says,” who’s right?” Love says, “what’s right.”
Love is not sweaty palms or a pounding heart. No, it’s more of a calm explosion. Possession destroys those who touch it. Love heals all who hold it. Possession is counterfeit. Love is the only truth. Possession fades away; Love is forever because it is absolute.
But look, nothing is perfect. Even love needs to be fed. A daily dose of forgiveness, understanding, not just those empty words, sad. So, are you willing to persevere through tough times? And choose love every single day? And you willing to fix things that are broken? And not just throw them away? If you said yes, I promise your love will last a lifetime and everyday will feel brand new.
Just do me one favor. Please respect the word, “Love”. And say it only to those you truly do.
After a long time, the other day, my friends and I went bowling. And I started to think to myself that Life is a lot like bowling.
Bowling is a team sport just like life. In bowling, sometimes the best players struggle, and others that were less likely to do well, surprise you and make all the difference. This is one of my favourite lessons: focusing on someone else’s score doesn’t make yours any better.
It’s easy to get distracted by how well someone else is playing. You see their score go up, they bowl a strike or a spare. And you’re calculating in your mind what you think that could be. But all that does is it distracts you from your game.
Similarly, in life, focusing on someone else’s Instagram grid doesn’t make yours any better. Focusing on what someone else is doing for work or what they’re driving doesn’t make yours any better. Focus on yourself, focus on your own role, your strengths, that will make all the difference.
And that leads us nicely to the next lesson: There’s different ways to play the game.
Some people spin the ball, some people go for a straight, direct roll, some people use two or three fingers, the list continues. The truth is, it’s exactly the same in our lives. You will see some people succeed in a certain way. And others doing it completely differently.
The goal is to find your way. Your method. Your approach. The direction that works for you. Without trying to copy, mimic, or imitate someone else.
And we’ve all experienced this, sometimes your ball ends up in the gutter. I’m sure you’ve had that before, sometimes your throw was completely out of control and your ball went directly into the gutter. Or maybe sometimes you actually felt well-prepared and confident, but the ball still ended up in the gutter.
In life, just like that ball, sometimes we feel we’re in the gutter. But there’s something to learn from that. And just like the ball comes back, when we learn through our experience, we get another opportunity to improve, another opportunity to try, another opportunity to succeed. As Oscar Wilde said, “All of us are in the gutter, but some of us are looking up at the stars.”
Sometimes, you hit a spare. You threw your best shot, you got the angle perfectly right, you prepared with everything you had, and that one pin is still up there. Sometimes, despite our best efforts in life, we don’t get what we want. Not everything aligns. Everything doesn’t go to plan. Life is a lot like bowling, keep your eyes on the ball, your concentration in the game, and your mind out of the gutter.
And in the end we realize, we have to be just like that bowling pin. No matter how hard we’re hit by life, no matter how hard we’re hit by others, we have to keep stepping back up.
① We believe that because we’ve been unsuccessful in the past, that the barrier still exists even for new ventures. In other words, we continue to see a barrier in our heads, that separates us from our dreams, even though there is no real barrier, between where we are, and where we want to go.
And remember this – The teacher has failed more times than the student has even tried
② Imagine you wake up every day with $86,400 in your bank account, and at the end of the night it’s all gone whether you spent it or not. And then the next day you get another $86,400. What would we do with it?
Everyday 86,400 seconds are deposited into your life account. At the end of the day once they’re all used up you get a new 86,400 seconds.We would never waste it if it was money, so why do we waste it when it comes to time?
Those seconds are so much more powerful than dollars because you can always make more dollars, you can’t always make more time.
③ We cannot avoid the ups and downs, but we can change the way we see them. Because as Wayne Dyer said – When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.
④ We all face distraction. We all experience distraction. We’re all played by distraction. But often we think that the opposite of distraction is focus.We think that we need to become more focused. We think that if we’re focused we’ll feel less distracted. We feel that if we’re able to draw our energy in a certain direction and force ourselves to absorb in an activity then we won’t be as distracted, but this is just not true.
The opposite of distraction is actually not focus. The opposite of distraction is, wait for it, attraction.
What we really need to do is increase our attraction. When we are attracted to something, we’re naturally focused. We’re naturally able to be present. We’re naturally able to bring our attention and our energy to that task, that project, that person. When we’re distracted and don’t have that attraction, we’re naturally all over the place.
We end up feeling lost, confused, and end up procrastinating. But no matter what you do, no matter how much you chase your passion and live your purpose, it will still be things you have to do on a daily basis that you don’t find interesting, and naturally you’ll feel unfocused and distracted.
For that, ask yourself this question: “Why am I here? Why am I doing this?” and you’ll find the mind will start to become attracted to that activity, tasks, or even that person.
⑤ Our health is the foundation of how we can build our time and wealth. And with our time and wealth, there are two key principles: We become successful by what we get, but we become happy by what we give. And what we give includes our time, our wealth, our energy.
And when those things are used to make a positive difference in the lives of others, to help others move forward to make an impact, that legacy will never be taken away.
And as Maya Angelou said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”