Wayne Dyer once said when we changed the way we look at things; the things we look at change. So often we’re just seeing half the picture, half the story, half the words. And with that half perspective, we live a half-hearted life.
We don’t look at things, we don’t zoom out and look at the bigger picture. We don’t zoom out and actually look at things as a whole with a greater perspective.
See, when you’re walking on the streets in the city next to buildings, they all look the same height. You can’t tell the difference. But then when you’re flying in a plane, you can see the difference between the taller and shorter buildings.
Everything gets into perspective.
When we’re too zoom in into the details and the minute points, we don’t see everything. When we zoom out and take a bird’s eye view and step back from our lives, we gain a greater perspective.
The people you are hanging out with are not your friends.
I want you to ask yourself this question:
Are they raising you up? Or pushing you down?
Are they helping you grow? Or holding you back?
You have something special inside of you. I can see it. But I feel like the people you hang around, they have their own agendas. And I’ve had people like this in my life before; people who wanted to get close to me, use me to get what they wanted, and then once they got it, they left.
So you can’t call everybody your friend. The word FRIEND comes from an European word FREUND, meaning to love. These people they don’t love you. They don’t belong in your “Squad”. A squad is a team of people who you go to war with. They fight with you, you fight with them. You fight together.
See, a true friend isn’t somebody who makes your problems disappear. But they are the ones who won’t disappear when you face problems. See fake friends are like shadows. They’re around you during the brightest times, but they disappear during the darkest times. So I’m gonna tell you this: It’s better to walk alone at night than with a fake friend in the light. Better an enemy attack you than a fake friend hugs you.
See, I know sometimes it’s fun hanging out with them. You laugh. You joke. But that don’t mean much. It’s easy to be friends when things are going well. But what about when things ain’t going well? Oprah said: Everybody wants to ride with you in the limo, but what about when that limo breaks down, and it’s cold. Who’s going to be there with you on the side of the road? Who’s gonna be there to carry your bags with you as you gotta walk home?
See, I don’t want to preach, but your Life is dependent on two things: The people you hang out with and the books you read. Do not stunt your growth by hanging out with the wrong crowd. I’m gonna say it again: You have a gift inside of you. You gotta answer that call. Because it’s not gonna ring forever. The more time you spend with these people, the less time you’re gonna have to bring that gift out.
I know you may say it don’t matter, it don’t matter, they don’t affect me. And to that I want to ask you this: What’s the easiest way to catch a cold? You hang out with somebody with a cold, right? What’s the easiest way to catch a negative mindset? You hang out with somebody with a negative mindset. The energy you hang around, it matters. You can’t hang around energy vampires. They say people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
See, I believe these so called “friends” you have their season has passed. And it’s your season now. Where you flourish. Where you grow. And you become exactly who you were always meant to be.
Do you know what day of the week you are most likely to DIE from a HEART ATTACK? Take a guess. I’ll give you a second. It’s Monday. Care to guess what time? It is between 8 and 9 A.M.
Do you know what else happens Monday at 8? That is the same day and time people get ready to go into jobs THEY HATE. Coincidence? I don’t think so.
Take a look at this chart. This is the lifespan of the average person. On average we live about 80 years… if we’re lucky. We start working at about 18, and we work, work, work and retire at about 67. Now what does this tell you? That for better or for worse, the majority of YOUR life will be spent at WORK.
DO NOT spend that time unhappy like my friend Jae. See Jae, would always say “When I finish school, then I’ll be happy.” Well Jae finished school but he wasn’t happy… So then Jae said, when I get a job THEN I’ll be happy.” Jae got a job but he still wasn’t happy… So Jae said, “When I get married, settle down and have kids THEN I’ll be happy.”
Well, he got married, settled down, had two kids, but still… wasn’t happy. So then Jae said, “Okay, when the kids leave home and I retire THENNNN I’ll be happy.” Well the kids left home and he retired but he still wasn’t happy. So Jae started going to church. And I asked Jae why he was going to church so much. And he said, “Because, when I die THEN I’ll be happy…”
Jae’s story however sad, is not unique. I could have replaced Jae with Johnny or Bonnie. In fact, Jae’s initials stand for Just About Everybody. Many of us are like Jae. But it is NOT OUR FAULT. We HAVE BEEN TRICKED to stay stuck in jobs that are literally MAKING US SICK. And to be AND THEN PEOPLE. You know about the “And-Then” people right? It’s people who constantly say “AND THEN I’LL BE HAPPY.”
Ladies and gentlemen, we must go from living as “And-Thens” to becoming RIGHT NOWS. We have to be happy right NOW. How? We must either find a job we LOVE, or bring more LOVE into our jobs. It is time to STEP OUT of the rat race. Because the funny thing is, even if you win, make a load of money, hold up the trophy that everybody hails… you’re still a furry rodent with a pointy nose and long tail…
WAKE UP. Stop playing with YOUR LIFE. This ain’t a video game. This ain’t Mario Kart. This ain’t Fortnite. There is no “Try Again” button, no option to redo this level. When the game’s over, GAMES OVER. But there is one cheat code, to the human console. And that is to take control. And to stop buying into the lies society has told like how, overworking is cool, and being stressed out is a status symbol.
Oh, and hey I almost forgot, the biggest lie: Keep a WORK LIFE BALANCE. Now on the surface you may not see how crazy that sounds. But think about it… Work/Life balance? Shouldn’t it be the OTHER way around? Shouldn’t Life come before Work because when your Life is better, your work is better.
But don’t take my opinion. Harvard professor Shawn Achor recently discovered something fantastic which he calls the “Happiness Advantage”. His studies prove that 75% of job success can be predicted by not how smart you are, not how talented you are, but how HAPPY you are. His research is decisive. He says when you’re happy, your intelligence rises, creativity rises, your productivity rises. And you know what else is funny, you also MAKE MORE MONEY.
But here’s the real kicker… You live longer too. I know, it sounds too good to be true, but yes, optimists actually live longer than pessimists, so you could stretch this graph a few extra years if this time here is filled with more joy and cheer.
Let me be clear. Do not take this message lightly. It is your duty to be HAPPY. For your own sake. I don’t care if you’re here at the end. It is NEVER TOO LATE to trade in your DEADLIHOOD for a LIVELIHOOD and refuse to suffer during the WEEKDAYS. Ironic they call it that cause you’re literally in WEAK DAZE when you’re constantly waiting for the WEEKEND.
See, I believe so many people die of heart attacks because they are involved in work that their hearts are JUST NOT IN. I believe people have low vital signs because they are involved in work that is not VITAL to THEM.
My friends, happiness is a choice. But anyone who says it’s easy, has lied. It ain’t easy… But you have TO TRY. The first step is to look inside and remember the quote that the Buddha wrote two thousand years ago which I believe today for most people STILL APPLIES.
The problem is YOU THINK YOU HAVE TIME. STOP WASTING YOUR LIFE.
After a wedding ceremony in New York a few years ago, the FATHER of the BRIDE took the GROOM aside to give him some advice on how to keep the MARRIAGE long and HAPPY.
FATHER: You probably love my daughter a lot..
GROOM: Oh, Yes!
FATHER: And you probably think she is the most wonderful person in the world…
GROOM: Yes, she is so perfect in every way.
FATHER: That’s how it is when you get married… But after a few years… You will begin to see flaws in my daughter… And when you do begin to notice her faults, I want you to remember this: If she didn’t have those faults to begin with, she would have married someone much better. Thank you.
The moral of the story is… we should CELEBRATE and be HAPPY for the FAULTS and FLAWS of our partners, because if they didn’t have those flaws, they would be with someone much better… than us.
Seriously, it’s the most misused phrase on Earth. It’s a nice thing to say to someone, but tell me: Do you mean it? A lot of people say it cause it’s convenient, but tell me, do you really mean it?
A reporter asked an elderly couple, “How did you manage to stay together for 65 years?” The woman’s reply blew me away. She said, “We were born in a time when if something was broken, we would fix it. Not just throw it away.” Hearing her words made me pause for a second. No, no, more than just a second because it made me realize that what most people call love today, isn’t love at all. It’s possession. And not to be a cynic but I feel most people in our generation just don’t know the difference.
So, if you’re confused then stop saying, “I love you.” Don’t even fix your lips to make the sound. You want to know the difference between love and possession? Well stay tuned as I break it down.
Contrary to popular belief, true love is not blind. It has 20/20 vision. And a loving relationship is not 50/50 either. It is 100/100. A total commitment. It’s not a trade or a balancing act. It is all chips on the table, your whole heart, and that’s that.
Do not fall into the trappings. Love says, “I want you to be happy.” Possession says, “I want you to make me happy.” Cause Possession is actually the opposite of Love; it’s other name is addiction. Love has an alias too. It goes by understanding and commitment.
See, while Possession says, “me.”; Love says, “we.” Possession is a cage; Love is the sea. Possession wants to control; Love wants to free. Possession wants to become; Love wants to be. Possession keeps receipts to remember its good deeds.
Love does not keep score but remembers we are on the same team. Possession hardens the heart; Love softens it. Possession picks a flower out of the ground, but Love waters it. Possession wants to hide; Love is vulnerable and exposed. Possession sees the body; Love sees the soul.
Love trusts the process. Possession controls the direction. Possession wants to win the argument. Love desires to win connection. Possession is filled with darkness; Love, with sunlight. Possession says,” who’s right?” Love says, “what’s right.”
Love is not sweaty palms or a pounding heart. No, it’s more of a calm explosion. Possession destroys those who touch it. Love heals all who hold it. Possession is counterfeit. Love is the only truth. Possession fades away; Love is forever because it is absolute.
But look, nothing is perfect. Even love needs to be fed. A daily dose of forgiveness, understanding, not just those empty words, sad. So, are you willing to persevere through tough times? And choose love every single day? And you willing to fix things that are broken? And not just throw them away? If you said yes, I promise your love will last a lifetime and everyday will feel brand new.
Just do me one favor. Please respect the word, “Love”. And say it only to those you truly do.