Sticks and stones can break our bones, but words can never hurt me. Wrong!
There’s a story of a major league baseball player who’s speaking to inmates in prison. One of the inmates asked him: “How did you become a professional ball player sir?”
To which he says, “You know… I think it started when I was a boy. I would play catch with my dad and he would always say: ‘You keep throwing the ball like that son, you’ll end up in the major leagues one day! You keep swinging the bat like that son, and you’ll end up in the major leagues one day.’ And here I am… A professional ball player”
The room became quiet, and the inmate who asked the question, he said: “You know… The same thing happened to me. When I was a boy, my father told me that I was good for nothing, and that one day, I would end up in prison. And here… I am.
Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me. WRONG! See, words can cut deeper and fester longer than any sword known to man. I still haven’t forgotten what they told me as a kid… The teasing, the insecurities, that it created, have you?
Consider the story of a little girl. She’s in the grocery store with her mother and she drops a bottle of milk onto the floor, breaking it. The mother says, “You stupid child, why did you do that?!”
Consider the story of another little girl who’s in the grocery store with her mother. She drops a bottle of milk onto the ground, breaking it, and this mother says “That, was a very ‘stupid’ thing you did.”
Which child do you think will grow up to have a healthier self-image and more self-confidence? The one who was called stupid or the one whose action was called stupid?
It is important to be mindful of the words that we use to our friends, our family, our loved ones, and strangers. Because sticks and stones can break our bones, but words can break our hearts. And if we are not careful, they can shatter our dreams.
When asked “What is the biggest mistake we make in life?” the Buddha replied, “The biggest mistake is you think you have time.” Time is free, but it’s priceless. You can’t own it, but you can use it. You can’t keep it, but you can spend it. And once it’s lost you can never get it back.
The average person lives 78 years. We spend 28.3 years of our life sleeping. That’s almost a third of our life, but 30% of us struggle to sleep well. We spend 10.5 years of our life working, but over 50% of us want to leave our current jobs. Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you can never get more time.
We spend 9 years on T.V. and social media. We spend 6 years doing chores. We spend 4 years eating and drinking. We spend 3.5 years in education. We spend 2.5 years grooming. We spend 2.5 years shopping. We spend 1.5 years in child care. We spend 1.3 years commuting. That leaves us with 9 years. How will we spend that time?
Steve Jobs said “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” So there’s good news and there’s bad news. The bad news is time flies; the good news is you’re the pilot. Imagine you wake up every day with $86,400 in your bank account, and at the end of the night it’s all gone whether you spent it or not. And then the next day you get another $86,400. What would we do with it?
Everyday 86,400 seconds are deposited into your life account. At the end of the day once they’re all used up, you get a new 86,400 seconds. We would never waste it if it was money, so why do we waste it when it comes to time? Those seconds are so much more powerful than dollars because you can always make more dollars, you can’t always make more time.
To realize the value of 1 year, ask a student who failed a grade. To realize the value of 1 month, ask a mother who lost their child in the final month. To realize the value of 1 week, ask the editor of an online magazine. To realize the value of 1 hour, ask the couple who’s in a long distance relationship. To realize the value of 1 minute, ask the person who just missed a bus, train, or plane. To realize the value of 1 second, ask the person who just missed an accident. To realize the value of a millisecond, ask the person who just came 2nd at the Olympics.
We think that it’s people wasting our time, but it’s really us giving them the permission to do that. And in reality, these 2 people live inside us. Don’t let someone be a priority when all you are to them is an option. Some of us lose the people most important to us because we don’t value their time. Some of us don’t recognize how important someone is to us until they’re gone.
Inside all of us are 2 voices – 1 voice that wants to uplift, 1 voice that want us to expand. 1 voice that want us to grow. And then there’s the other voice – The voice that holds us back. The voice that makes us lazy. The voice that makes us complacent. The voice that restricts us from our potential.
Every day from the moment we wake up until the moment we go to sleep, inside of us there’s this battle between the 2 voices. And guess which one wins? The one that we listen to the most. The one that we feed. The one that we amplify. It is our choice of how we use our time.
Life and time are the best two teachers. Life teaches us to make good use of time and time teaches us the value of Life. And as William Shakespeare said, “Time is very slow for those who want, very fast for those who are scared, very long for those who are sad, and very short for those who celebrate, but for those who love, time is eternal.”
Professor: Who would like this twenty-dollar bill?
Professor: Okay, I’m going to give it to one of you, but first let me to do this (crushes the bill). Okay, now who still wants it?
Class: I do!!!
Professor: What if I do this? (step and crumble the bill) Who wants it now?
Class: I do!!!
Professor: My dear students, I just showed you a very important lesson. No matter what I did to this money you still want it. Cause it never loses its worth. It’s still worth 20 dollars. While there’re many times in our lives where we feel like Life has crumbles us up and ground us into the dirt. We may make some bad decision, or have to deal with some poor circumstances, and sometimes Life could make us feel worthless. But no matter what has happened, no matter what will happen, you never lose your worth, you never lose your value. Don’t ever forget that.
"Most people never pick up the phone and call."- Steve Jobs
Posted by Goalcast on Tuesday, December 13, 2016
I’ve never found anybody that didn’t want to help me if I asked them for help. I called up Bill Hewlett when I was 12 years old. And he lived in Palo Alto, his number was still in the phone book. And he answered the phone himself! – Yes? I said, Hi I’m Steve Jobs, I’m 12 years old, I’m a student in high school and I wanna build a frequency counter, and I was wondering if you had any spare parts I could have.
And he laughed and he gave me the spare parts, to build this frequency counter, and he gave me a job that summer at Hewlett Packard, working on the assembly line, putting nuts and bolts together on frequency counters. He got me a job in the place that built them. And I was in heaven.
Most people never pick up the phone and call. Most people never ask. And that’s what separates sometimes the people that do things from the people that just dream about them.
Dear future generations, I think I speak for the rest of us when I say, sorry.
Sorry we left you with our mess of a planet. Sorry that we were too caught up in our own doings to do something. Sorry we listened to people who made excuses to do nothing.
I hope you forgive us; we just didn’t realize how special the earth was. Like a marriage gone wrong, we didn’t know what we had until it was gone. For example, I’m guessing you probably know what is the Amazon desert. Right? Well believe it or not, it was once called the Amazon rainforest. There were billions of trees there, all of them gorgeous and… Oh… You don’t know much about trees do you? Well let me tell you, trees are amazing, I mean, we literally breathe the air they are creating. They clean up our pollution, our carbon, they store & purify water, give us medicine that cure our diseases, food that feeds us. Which is why I’m so sorry, to tell you that, we burned them down. Cut them down with brutal machines, horrific. At a rate of 40 football fields every minute, that’s 50% of all the trees in the world gone in the last hundred years. Why? For this.
And that wouldn’t make me so sad, if there weren’t so many pictures of leaves on it. You know, when I was a child, I read how the Native Americans had such consideration for the planet that they felt responsible for how the left the land for the next 7 generations. Which brings me great sorrow because most of us today, don’t even care about tomorrow. So I’m sorry. I’m sorry that we put profit above people, greed above need, rule of gold above Golden Rule. I’m sorry we used nature as a credit card with no spending limit. Over drafting animals to extinction, stealing your chance to ever see their uniqueness, or become friends with them. Sorry we poisoned the oceans so much that you can’t even swim in them. But most of all, I’m sorry about our mind set. Cause we had the nerve to call this destruction – Progress.
Hey Fox News, if you don’t think climate change is a threat, I dare you to interview the thousands of homeless people in Bangladesh. See while… While you were in your penthouse nestled, their homes were literally washed away beneath their feet, due to rising sea levels. And Sarah Palin, you said that you love the smell of fossil fuels, well I urge you to talk to the kids of Beijing, who were forced to wear pollution masks just to go to school. See, you can ignore this, but the thing about truth is… It can be denied, not avoided. So I’m sorry future generations. I’m sorry that our footprint became a sinkhole and not a garden. I’m sorry that we paid so much attention to ISIS, and very little to how fast the ice is melting in the Arctic. I’m sorry we doomed you. And I’m sorry we couldn’t find another planet in time to move to. I am s-.
You know what, cut the beat. I’m not sorry. This future, I do not accept it. Because an error does not become a mistake until you refuse to correct it. We can redirect this. How? Let me suggest that, if a farmer sees a tree that is unhealthy, they don’t look at the branches to diagnose it. They look at the root. So like that farmer, we must look at the root and not to the branches of government. Not to the politicians run by corporations. We are the root. We are the foundation. This generation. It is up to US to take care of this planet. It is our only home. We must globally warm our hearts, and change the climate of our souls, and realize that, we are not apart from nature, we a part of nature. And to betray nature, is to betray us. To save nature, is to save us. Because, whatever you’re fighting for, racism or poverty, feminism, gay rights, or any type of equality, it won’t matter in the least. Because if we don’t all work together to save the environment… we will be equally extinct. Sorry.
If everybody could become an expert at anything at a drop of a hat, would there be any rewards for it? I think you have the answer, even as I ask the question.
Got a couple of good buddies that used to live down in South Alabama. Their names were Bernard Haygood and Jimmy Glenn. One day they’re out riding through the South Alabama foothills and they got a little thirsty. Bernard was the driver. He’s also the athletic one, so he hopped out of the car, he ran around to this old abandoned pump there in the back of this old farmhouse. He grabbed the handle of the pump and he started to pump. Now let me say that when old Bernard grabbed that handle and started to pump you know, since it was August and brutally hot that day, he was anxious to get some water out. So he really got after it, he was just pumping away. And after a couple of minutes he said, “Jimmy, you better get that old bucket over there and dip some water out of the creek. We gonna have to prime this pump.” All that really means is that you gotta put something in here before you can expect to get anything out, here.
The pump is really saying in another way what we’ve said so many times, and that is that you gotta be and do, before you can have. Too many people stand in front of the stove of life, and they say, “Stove now, you give me some heat, and then I’ll put some wood in you.” So many times the employee goes to the employer and says, “Now give me a raise. And when you give me the raise I’ll start coming to work on time. I’ll start doing the things you really want me to do.” What they’re saying is, “Reward me now and then later I’ll perform.” That’s not the way it works. First you’ve gotta put something in before you can expect to get anything out.
Well old Bernard wanted to drink water. But the question is, just how much pumping are you willing to do in order to get that drink of water? And after a few minutes he said, “Jimmy I just don’t believe there’s any water down there.” And Jimmy said, “Yes it is, Bernard. You know in South Alabama the wells are deep.” We’re glad they are, aren’t we? Because you see, the deeper the well, the cleaner, the sweeter, the purer, the better tasting the water is. Isn’t that another lesson the pump can teach us?
Isn’t it true that those things which have value, I mean real value, are those things which we have to work for over a period of time? Yes, it’s absolutely true. But those things which have value, which have real value, are those things which we make that honest effort to acquire. We work at it and we do a little sweating in the process. And by now, old Bernard is really beginning to sweat. I mean, it’s August, it’s hot. Finally, he just threw up his hands and he said, “Jimmy, there just ain’t no water down there.”
Jimmy said, “Don’t stop Bernard, don’t stop. If you stop, that water’s gonna go all the way back down, and then you’re gonna have to start all over.” And isn’t that the story of life?
Isn’t it true that so many people lose out on a lot of effort they’ve expended in the past, because they don’t do just a little bit more?
Keep on PUMPING
It’s really hard. It’s really, really hard. It’s a difficult job. You can never perfect what we do. There is no way. I’ve never met anyone who goes, “That’s perfection.” As an actor, and this isn’t mock humility, I think it just goes for all art forms really, that the whole point is perfection is unachievable.
So see lots, read lots, hear lots. Experience life as well and just keep observing. Really observing. Not just looking and seeing, but sort of observing. It’s that constant pursuit of the unobtainable which is kind of magic, really, and to keep us kind of motivated to try better. It’s the Beckett thing. Fail again, fail better.
The wisest person I ever met in my life, a third grade dropout. Wisest and dropout in the same sentence is rather oxymoronic, like jumbo shrimp. Mm-hmmm. Like Fun Run, ain’t nothing fun about it. Like Microsoft Works. You all don’t hear me.
I used to say like country music, but I’ve lived in Texas so long, I love country music now. I hunt. I fish. I have cowboy boots and cowboy… Y’all, I’m a blackneck redneck. Do you hear what I’m saying to you?
No longer oxymoronic for me to say country music, and it’s not oxymoronic for me to say third grade and dropout. That third grade dropout, the wisest person I ever met in my life, who taught me to combine knowledge and wisdom to make an impact, was my father. A simple cook, wisest man I ever met in my life, just a simple cook. Left school in the third grade to help out on the family farm, but just because he left school doesn’t mean his education stopped. Mark Twain once said: “I’ve never allowed my schooling to get in the way of my education.”
My father taught himself how to read, taught himself how to write, decided in the midst of Jim Crowism, as America was breathing the last gasp of the Civil War, my father decided he was going to stand and be a man, not a black man, not a brown man, not a white man, but a man. He literally challenged himself to be the best that he could all the days of his life.
I have four degrees. My brother is a judge. We’re not the smartest ones in our family. It’s a third grade dropout daddy, a third grade dropout daddy who was quoting Michelangelo, saying to us, “Boys, I won’t have a problem if you aim high and miss, but I’m gonna have a real issue if you aim low and hit.”
A country mother quoting Henry Ford, saying, “If you think you can or if you think you can’t, you’re right.” I learned that from a third grade drop. Simple lessons, lessons like these, “Son, you’d rather be an hour early than a minute late.” We never knew what time it was at my house because the clocks were always ahead. My mother said, for nearly 30 years, my father left the house at 3:45 in the morning. One day, she asked him, “Why, Daddy?” He said, “Maybe one of my boys will catch me in the act of excellence.”
I wanna share two things with you. Aristotle said, “You are what you repeatedly do.” Therefore, excellence ought to be a habit, not an act. Don’t ever forget that. I know you’re tough, but always remember to be kind, always. Don’t ever forget that. Never embarrass Mama. Mm-hmmm. If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. If Daddy ain’t happy don’t nobody care but you know…
Next lesson, lesson from a cook over there in the galley. “Son, make sure your servant’s towel is bigger than your ego.” Ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity. You all might have a relative in mind you might want to send that to. Let me say it again. Ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity. Pride is the burden of a foolish person. John Wooden coached basketball at UCLA for a living, but his calling was to impact people, and with all those national championships, guess what he was found doing in the middle of the week? Going into the cupboard, grabbing a broom and sweeping his own gym floor. You want to make an impact? Find your broom. Every day of your life, you find your broom. You grow your influence that way. That way, you’re attracting people so that you can impact them.
Final lesson. “Son, if you’re going to do a job, do it right.” I’ve always been told how average I can be, always been criticized about being average, but I want to tell you something. I stand here before you, before all of these people, not listening to those words, but telling myself every single day, to shoot for the stars, to be the best that I can be. Good enough isn’t good enough if it can be better, and better isn’t good enough if it can be best. Let me close with a very personal story that I think will bring all this into focus. Wisdom will come to you in the unlikeliest of sources, a lot of times through failure. When you hit rock bottom, remember this. While you’re struggling, rock bottom can also be a great foundation on which to build and on which to grow. I’m not worried that you’ll be successful. I’m worried that you won’t fail from time to time. A person that gets up off the canvas and keeps growing, that’s the person that will continue to grow their influence.
Back in the ‘70s, to help me make this point, let me introduce you to someone. I met the finest woman I’d ever met in my life. Mm-hmm. Back in my day, we’d have called her a brick house. This woman was the finest woman I’d ever seen in my life. There was just one little problem. Back them, ladies didn’t like big old linemen. The Blind Side hadn’t come out yet. They liked quarterbacks and running backs. We’re at this dance and I find out her name is Trina Williams from Lompoc, California. We’re all dancing and we’re just excited. I decide in the middle of dancing with her that I would ask her for her phone number. Trina was the first… Trina was the only woman in college who gave me her real telephone number. The next day, we walked to Baskin & Robbins Ice Cream Parlour. My friends couldn’t believe it. This has been 40 years ago, and my friends still can’t believe it. We go on a second date and a third date and a fourth date. Mm-hmm. We drive from Chico to Vallejo so that she can meet my parents. My father meets her. My daddy. My hero. He meets her, pulls me to the side and says, “Is she psycho?” But anyway. We go together for a year, two years, three years, four years. By now, Trina’s a senior in college. I’m still a freshman, but I’m working some things out. I’m so glad I graduated in four terms, Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan. Now, it’s time to propose, so I talk to her girlfriends, and it’s California. It’s in the ‘70s, so it has to be outside, have to have a candle and you have to have some chocolate. Listen, I’m from the hood. I had a bottle of Boone’s Farm wine. That’s what I had. She said, “Yes.” That was the key. I married the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen in my… You all ever been to a wedding and even before the wedding starts, you hear this? “How in the word?” And it was coming from my side of the family.
We get married. We have a few children. Our lives are great. One day, Trina finds a lump in her left breast. Breast cancer. Six years after that diagnosis, me and my two little boys walked up to Mommy’s casket. For two years, my heard didn’t beat. If it wasn’t for my faith in God, I wouldn’t be standing her today. If it wasn’t for those two little boys, there would have been no reason for which to go on. I was completely lost. That was rock bottom. You know what sustained me? The wisdom of a third grade dropout. The wisdom of a simple cook. We’re at the casket. I’d never seen my dad cry, but this time I saw my dad cry. That was his daughter. Trina was his daughter, not his daughter-in-law. I’m right behind my father about to see her for the last time one this Earth, and my father shared three words with me that changed my life right there at the casket. It would be the last lesson he would ever teach me.
He said, “Son, just stand.” You keep standing. No matter how rough the sea, you keep standing, and I’m not talking about just water. You keep standing. No matter what. You don’t give up. And as clearly as I’m talking to you today, these were some of her last words to me. She looked me in the eye and she said, “It doesn’t matter to me any longer how long I live. What matters to me most is how I live.” I ask you all one question, a question that I was asked all my life by a third grade dropout. How you living? How you living? Every day, ask yourself that question. How you living? Here’s what a cook would suggest you to live, this way, that you would not judge, that you would show up early, that you’d be kind, that you make sure that that servant’s towel is huge and used, that if you’re going to do something, you do it the right way. That cook would tell you this, that it’s never wrong to do the right thing, that how you do anything is how you do everything, and in that way you will grow your influence to make an impact. In that way, you will honor all those who have gone before you, who have invested in you. Look in those unlikeliest places for wisdom. Enhance your life every day by seeking that wisdom and asking yourself every night, “How am I living?”
May God richly bless you all.
MAKE AN IMPACT
This incident led Lisa Kudrow into starring on Friends as PhoebeGoalcast has partnered with 9Spokes to offer this FREE App. Signup here: https://goo.gl/9RrXm2
Posted by Goalcast on Saturday, September 23, 2017
This was my shot. I cried a lot. It was so embarrassing. I got fired from Frasier. The one everyone knew was going to be a hit, and it was. This time, it was really hard not to think that it wasn’t meant to be, my career as an actress. A couple of months later, I was almost completely out of money.
Then I got a call from a friend, the actor, Richard Kind, who said, and this is exactly how he sounds, “I’ve heard what happened. I don’t know how you get up in the morning. How do you even get out of bed, get dressed, walk out the door, and show your face?”
Yeah, I was getting up in the morning and leaving my apartment, so maybe I was coping better than I was expected to. That’s a good sign. And I understand that because the 20s, they are that time in your life when you’re really getting acquainted to self-doubt when there’s so much seemingly at stake.
So let me reassure you, it’s not supposed to be easy. You’re supposed to have moments of uncertainty about which path to take, because the 20s are full of crossroads. When one door closes, another door always opens. It really does. That’s what I would tell myself to keep those moments of doubts, only moments. And it worked. I kept going.
Then it all changed. After many auditions, I was the second person cast in the pilot called “Friends Like Us”, which would later be changed to “Friends”. Jim Burrows also directed this pilot and the first 10 episodes of friends. One day, the six of us were talking with Jimmy, exchanging the time I got fired stories, and Jimmy told them mine. “Well, she’s got the worst one of all. She got fired from Frasier. Well. It’s a good thing you got fired, or you wouldn’t have been on this show.”
He was right. It was a good thing I didn’t get Saturday Night Live. And that Romy and Michele, that that pilot didn’t work out. And every other disappointment that happened. They were actually more like guideposts that kept me on my path. Oh, and after I got fired from Frasier, I went to a birthday party and, and feeling like I had nothing at all to lose, I flirted with a guy who was way out of my league. We dated and on Thursday, Michel and I will have been married for 15 years, and we’ll celebrate with our remarkable 12-year-old son. So, thank God I got fired.
There is a reason for everything. FIND YOUR REASON
I want to show you guys something real cool. Something I just found out. Watch this.
Every pilot or flight instructor will tell you this: That if you start here, and you want to go here – to your destination – and if there’s a crosswind, you will actually land here, land lower. So what pilots do is they fly NORTH of their destination to get to their destination.
See, this metaphor applies for life, and for people as well. If you treat a person for how they are, you make them worse. You treat a person for how they could be, you promote them to what they should be. If you live life being realistic, you wind up being pessimistic. But if you live life shooting for your dreams, trying to do the impossible, ladies and gentlemen, you will wind up exactly where you need to be.